We do our best to detach from the manipulator.

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.
-- William Arthur Ward

Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what they're doing. There may be no malice involved. Often, the only intention is to find the means to continue an addictive behavior. Manipulation, however, can be terrifying if we're the end-receiver. We may also deny that it's happening, usually because we're so confused by it all. But when we realize the truth, we're frightened not only by what's happened, but also by what could happen. We've fallen for this before, what's to prevent us from falling for it again?
This may mean letting go physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The more distance we have, the easier it is to see the truth, to recognize the manipulation. When we must have contact, we keep our head on straight. We don't need to answer to anyone right away. As time goes on, we're better able to identify and to deal appropriately with manipulative behavior.

Today I will have the courage to own the truth.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

Letting Go of Debt © 2000 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

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Online daily inspirations
Read a Thought for the Day from six of our most popular daily meditations books. They're posted online, every day, athazeldenbettyford.org.
 

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions.

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
--Lao-tzu

A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake.

Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring.

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water.

Am I overlooking the simple solution?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Our negative feeling may crystallize as blame directed toward someone else.

We are only human
. . . paying attention to our growth

Trusting our partner has a lot to do with trusting ourselves. When we feel confused, unsure, or in conflict about our own direction, we may shift our attention outside ourselves. Even when we feel unsure about our self-worth, our negative feeling may crystallize as blame directed toward someone else.

Looking outward in that negative way and avoiding responsibility for ourselves makes liars of us. When we do that we are not paying attention to our own growth, not looking at the truth. If we do not claim ownership of our part in a conflict, we will not be able to trust our partner either. We build trust when we are honest with ourselves and expose our truth and vulnerability to our mate.

Tell your partner something you trust about her or him.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

The More We Find in Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum. © 1992 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

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Online daily inspirations
Read a Thought for the Day from six of our most popular daily meditations books. They're posted online, every day, at hazeldenbettyford.org.
 

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Give away our love, we'll doubt less that we, too, are loved.

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Unconditional Love for You and Me!

 

The love, the acceptance of other persons makes me into the unique person I am meant to be.
--Peter G. van Breemen, S.J.

Our destinies are fulfilled through our loving involvement with the men, women, and children sharing our experiences. It is not by accident but by design that we've been drawn together to share goals, the workplace, or a home. We contribute to each other's search for understanding, and the spiritual quest that's at our center finds its resting place in one another's hearts.

The letter, the smile, or phone call we offer a fellow traveler today will bless our own faltering steps throughout the long hours ahead. Each time we focus our attention on the struggle or joy of someone else, our personal well being is enhanced. If we give away our love, we'll doubt less that we, too, are loved.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey. © 1985 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

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So let's ask ourselves what it is we fear.

Worry = Fear!!!

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Worry = Fear!!!

Trying to ignore our worries only pushes them underground.

Pretending we are not anxious, when we are, is a tactic that fools no one, especially not ourselves. Attempting to deny or repress our fears and worries does not work. The result is often depression or a physical ailment, indicating that in our subconscious, we know very well that something is wrong.

The rigorous honesty of our Spiritual way of life saves us from playing destructive games with ourselves. A worry that we can define and examine in the light of day is far less threatening than one we are trying to hide.

So let's ask ourselves what it is we fear. If our worry is a rational one, we need to decide what we can do to prepare for the worst-case scenario. If the worry is irrational, we need to figure out how to get rid of it. But, no matter whether a worry is rational or irrational, we can't turn it over until we acknowledge we have it. Getting our worries out in the open and talking about them with people whose judgment we trust keeps us grounded in reality.

If I am worried about something today, I will consciously examine it so that I can resolve it.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

This book is now out of print and no longer available to purchase. Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L. © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

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Online daily inspirations
Read a Thought for the Day from six of our most popular daily meditations books. They're posted online, every day, at hazeldenbettyford.org.

---

             

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To send us feedback, please email todaysgift@hazeldenbettyford.org
Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, 15251 Pleasant Valley Rd., P.O. Box 11, RW19, Center City, MN 55012-0011, 800-257-7810
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